


Never Yours

by likeuwuahh



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: Angst with some fluff, F/F, it's not tragic but still kinda sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-02
Updated: 2018-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-01 10:34:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14518593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likeuwuahh/pseuds/likeuwuahh
Summary: Jeongyeon is fine with others being affectionate to her.So why is it different when it comes to Nayeon?





	Never Yours

**Author's Note:**

> just based off the fact that nayeon always asks jeongyeon to let her love her and hug her

They’ve been friends for a while – they were the closest in the group, everyone knew that. TWICE wouldn’t be TWICE without Nayeon and Jeongyeon. The duo didn’t spend many days without arguing about trivial things or teasing each other and smacking each other. They were like cats and dogs. But in the midst of all their fighting, one could only hide the hurt she felt, from the other, fearing for the breaking of their friendship.

She tried not to show it, she tried to keep a straight face when she was hurting inside. But, how long would she truly last like this? Burying everything in? It was getting harder and harder and she wanted to give up. It hurt her when it happened right in front of her eyes. Seeing that she was clinging with another was tearing her apart already. Or the fact that she was okay with others clinging on to her, but not herself? It hurt her.

Sometimes, all Im Nayeon wanted was attention from Yoo Jeongyeon. But no amount of her pleas would be enough for her to notice Nayeon, because she just wasn’t enough. She thought it was going to be okay. She thought she could do this, watch Jeongyeon be okay with skinship with another member, but she couldn’t. While Nayeon had to ask for her to be noticed, she could never compare to the one who was always welcomed. She was never hers.

Nayeon stood beside the pair acting clingy in front of her with a blank face. Jeongyeon might have been rejecting her kisses, but she clearly wasn’t saying no to her hugs. The thing was that this wouldn’t have hurt as much if Nayeon hadn’t spoken on radio shows about how Jeongyeon refused to hug her. The uncontrollable pain in her chest couldn’t be eased anymore and maybe Nayeon wanted to keep it that way.

Maybe it was her pleas that were too hard to go through with. Clearly, Jeongyeon was okay with hugging others. Maybe she was too touchy, too clingy, too affectionate. Maybe she made Jeongyeon uncomfortable with it to the point where she didn’t have the courage to say no because they were best friends. She had never considered that. Jeongyeon was never one to say no to anyone else so Nayeon would be the one to make it easier.

\---

Sana might not be usually seen as the brightest, but she knew when her members weren’t feeling happy. And, she knew that something was up with Nayeon. Eyes speak volumes, even when you don’t say anything yourself. It wasn’t hard to notice the pain in Nayeon’s eyes if you looked enough, but she was good at hiding her feelings. Jeongyeon was a fool for not realising and Momo wasn’t helping the case either.

How could you not notice that your best friend was slipping away and avoiding you on purpose? Jeongyeon didn’t even think to ask why Nayeon always excused herself at their dinners and frankly, it was driving Sana mad. She’d frown sometimes when Nayeon would sit next to her and hug her tightly or she’d look grumpy when her cheeks would get poked and prodded. It’s no wonder that Nayeon was now always hesitating.

There are many things Sana wanted to do to Jeongyeon. But the biggest would be to smack some sense into her to open her eyes before she lost Nayeon. Long gone was the playful Nayeon, replaced with her mature self, holding back all the time. Why could Jeongyeon not see the change? Actually, why was Jeongyeon _oblivious_ to the change? If she were in her shoes, Sana would pick up on her absence immediately.

\---

3-mix were always a tight trio. That’s why it was easy for Jihyo to pick up on Nayeon’s weird behaviour as soon as she started to act differently. Even someone blind could tell that she was distancing herself from Jeongyeon. As the leader of the group, Jihyo always had her eyes on the members. She could always see the change in Nayeon when she saw Jeongyeon hugging someone else and a smile when they were together.

She wasn’t a fool. Jihyo knew that Nayeon thought pulling away would be better. She knew that she was hurt when she saw the person that said she hated intimacy cuddle with someone or shower them with love and attention. So, she became the person that Nayeon needed most. Someone to hug, someone to talk to. That’s her role as the leader, but that’s also her role as the best friend as well. She wouldn’t just leave her to suffer.

Jihyo felt like she could finally see that Jeongyeon was picking up on the change. Her eyes lingered on Nayeon more and she tried to reach out towards her first, surprisingly. But, Nayeon was good at evading and she had the help of the maknaes too. It was as if Jeongyeon had the courage one moment, but lost it in the next. Jihyo didn’t want things to turn out this way; she hated this separation and she had to fix it. But how?

\---

Mina is always the shy one, reserved and in her own world, but she could sense the disharmony in the group already. It wasn’t really disharmony, it was more like the group had become a lot quieter without Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s usual antics. She wasn’t around to see much of the friendship bloom between the two of the eldest in the group, but she sure as hell knew that there was something terribly wrong going on.

With the amount of times Nayeon had asked Jeongyeon to pay more attention to her, Mina understood their distance as a way for Nayeon to cope. A simple mechanism she’d probably go through as well. There’s always a fear of annoying someone you really care about, especially when you see them doing the same thing with others as you want to do with them. She’s been through that countless times when it came to a fellow member.

Though, Mina really didn’t wish to see the pair fall out. They were acting like strangers and it hurt to see them that way. It was clear that Jeongyeon missed Nayeon but she didn’t dare to voice it – why? The two were unnecessarily causing each other so much pain without talking to each other to solve it; even she could figure that out on her own. It’s like they needed to be locked in a room just to talk to each other about their problem.

\---

Dahyun was sensitive to these situations. As Nayeon’s fellow mood maker in the group, she had to step up to lighten up the atmosphere but it wasn’t working. Of course, she’d received hugs and kisses for trying to do something but it she was getting angry. Why were they being so selfish and not talking things through? Maybe if she understood the situation better, she’d be able to do something. She wanted to help.

A part of Nayeon’s childishness had comeback, but it wasn’t around Jeongyeon, surprisingly. The eldest was hanging around Dahyun, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu instead. Dahyun didn’t mind. She was glad that Nayeon wasn’t on her own. It was only a little while after that when she possibly realised the situation; that was when Nayeon’s eyes focused on Jeongyeon. Her heart hurt for their eldest and the situation that she was in.

With more love spreading around, Dahyun could clearly see the difference in Nayeon’s attitude. She was more positive and happy but it seemed like Jeongyeon was suffering instead. Dahyun could only sigh heavily with the situation that they were in. Jeongyeon was hurt by the distance but she didn’t want to bridge the gap. It amazed her, really – how were these two members the eldest in the group if they acted this way.

\---

When she thought that things were getting better, Chaeyoung realised that nothing was really changing. It was like a see saw. If one of the pair was happy, the other was dejected. It was never balanced. While she already knew Nayeon’s side of the story, she had no clue about Jeongyeon’s. She didn’t hesitate to ask her outright and she could only groan as she listened, annoyed that the two were basically tip toeing around each other.

Jeongyeon was worried about Nayeon and her lack of clinginess towards her but she didn’t want to voice it and Nayeon was hurt by the fact that she was no longer prioritised. Chaeyoung was starting to think that Mina’s idea of locking them in a room would be the best idea. For her, it made sense that Nayeon pulled away from Jeongyeon but Chaeyoung didn’t understand her no-jam brother this time like she always did.

If she wanted to fix things, watching by idly as she pretended to smile was the worst thing Jeongyeon could do. Chaeyoung could only watch on as their friendship was withering in front of her. She wondered what she could do to help, other than make lame jokes that made Nayeon more teary rather than smile. Maybe it was because Chaeyoung’s jokes were far too similar to Jeongyeon’s and she just missed her too much.

\---

Tzuyu didn’t tolerate her members getting hurt, but what could she do when they were the ones hurting each other? There was no logical solution that she could think of to fix this, other than the two talking things out themselves. She loved them both dearly and she remained indecisive. Nayeon had cried in her arms but Jeongyeon had argued with Tzuyu. They were acting childish and maybe Tzuyu thought they deserved the maknaes roles.

It was clear to the maknae that there were unspoken feelings swimming between the two of them that neither of them were voicing. It frustrated her so much because to Tzuyu, Nayeon and Jeongyeon were like her parental figures. And they were acting so immature that it was driving her insane. She understood the fear of rejection, but they had to talk about their feelings soon or they weren’t going to go anywhere.

Almost crossing two months, Tzuyu couldn’t handle it anymore and neither could the rest of the members. The perfect plan was Mina’s plan, because nothing else would work anymore. They were done with their refusal to talk to each to sort things out and Tzuyu would make sure the plan would work well. They were going to be locked in a room together and they were going to talk things out before they could be allowed to leave.

\---

Jeongyeon thought they were fine. Nayeon and her were always fine. But she didn’t know what happened all of a sudden. Nayeon grew distant, she was no longer clinging on to her like she always did; she didn’t tease her or hit her. Jeongyeon felt like nothing was right anymore. She didn’t know how she hadn’t realised it sooner. Nayeon had disappeared from her side so slowly and cautiously, she had no time to react.

Gone was the giggly best friend who tried to get her attention all the time. Nayeon didn’t ask for her to look at her more and to return her hugs. The space beside Jeongyeon felt empty as she struggled to find the cause of her departure. She was so involved with Momo being by her side all the time that she didn’t even realise. She had hurt Nayeon, hadn’t she? Never had Jeongyeon ever seen the serious side of Nayeon after their debut.

She thought that she broke her walls completely but they were up high again. Jeongyeon missed Nayeon. She missed her presence. She missed her clinginess and her smile and the way she always gushed about her favourite artist. She missed the way Nayeon cheered her up when she down. She missed the way Nayeon would sneakily intertwine their fingers. She missed her best friend. She missed Im Nayeon completely.

Looking at her when she was smiling widely, Jeongyeon knew that it wasn’t real. And more than anything, Jeongyeon hated that she was the reason Nayeon wasn’t smiling anymore. She realised that maybe it was her own words that pushed Nayeon away. She was always joking when told Nayeon she didn’t want her hugs or kisses but she didn’t think that Nayeon would take it seriously. She blamed her stupidity.

Nayeon was the most precious person in her life. They trained together and trusted each other. They relied on each other and motivated each other. They were there for each other in their weakest and strongest moments. Yet, Jeongyeon had never failed to see the significance until she lost Nayeon by her side. She swore she’d never see tears in her eyes yet she was the one who caused them. Now, she’d do anything to fix things.

\---

“Dahyun, where are you taking me? Why are we going to the basement?” Nayeon groaned as Dahyun pulled her along.

“Something I need you to get for me, please? You know I’m scared of the basement.” Dahyun lied, showing her puppy eyes.

“Okay, okay, fine.” Nayeon huffed, walking inside.

She was unaware of the fact that Jeongyeon was already inside, already aware of the plan after confessing to the members that she wanted to work things out between herself and Nayeon. So, basically, the two of them were stuck inside until Jeongyeon let the others know it was okay for them to leave the room. Nayeon was muttering to herself as she browsed the piles of boxes, still not noticing Jeongyeon. It was only until she turned around that she saw her in front of her, letting out a scream out of fear.

“W-what are you doing here?” Nayeon stuttered, backing away.

Jeongyeon grabbed her by the waist before she fell down, making Nayeon flustered with the proximity. She struggled to push her away, her grip on Jeongyeon loosening as she gave up trying to resist.

“I’m just trying to help.” Jeongyeon muttered, pulling away.

“You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing here?” Nayeon asked again, crossing her arms.

“We need to talk.” Jeongyeon mimicked Nayeon as she faced her.

“About what? Don’t you have Momo to cling on to?” Nayeon snickered, heading towards the door.

“You can’t leave. It’s locked. They won’t open it until I say so.” Jeongyeon informed, earning a groan from Nayeon.

“What do you want to talk about?” Nayeon grumbled, walking back to Jeongyeon.

“Us. We need to talk about us.” Jeongyeon started, pulling Nayeon to sit next to her as she indicated for her to continue. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing really for you to be sorry about. I was the one who always annoyed you. I wanted hugs and tried to kiss you just so that I could get your attention. I didn’t ever stop to consider that you wouldn’t like it or that I would be a nuisance to you.” Nayeon chuckled bitterly.

“That was never the case.” Jeongyeon frowned as Nayeon spoke.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable. I’m sorry that I clung on to you so much that you hated it. I’m sorry that I was the one who made you feel that way when I should’ve known better. I never realised you got annoyed until late, I’m sorry.” Nayeon apologised, hunching her shoulders.

“No.” Jeongyeon growled, surprising Nayeon by pulling her up again. “Stop saying sorry when it’s not even your fault. There’s nothing to apologise for because they never annoy me. Okay, maybe a little bit, but that’s not the point. It makes me happy that you’re by my side. It makes me the happiest person because you’re willing to give me that attention. I’m sorry I didn’t realise how you felt. I never meant to make you feel that way. When you disappeared, I couldn’t think about anything anymore. You’re the one who keeps me together, so please, Nayeon, don’t leave my side.”

Nayeon’s eyes were watery by the time Jeongyeon had finished talking. They were stupid to not have talked about this earlier. Why did they leave this topic hidden away for so long?

Jeongyeon walked towards Nayeon, cupping her cheeks to wipe away at the silent tears that were streaming down her face. “It hurts me that I hurt you. I hate it. I hate that I was ever the cause of your pain. And more than anything, I understand why you left. But, I’m not letting you go anymore. I’m going hold on to this hand tightly and never let go.” She mumbled, slipping her hand through Nayeon’s.

Nayeon cried harder, throwing herself into Jeongyeon’s arms. The younger of the two chuckled before hugging back tightly, soothing her with pats and mutterings of apologies. She was stupid to see Nayeon’s importance so late but she learnt from this lesson.

“Stop crying like a baby.” Jeongyeon teased, Nayeon slapping her arm in return. She pulled at the corner of her shirt, wiping away Nayeon’s tears and nose with them and making her blush. She leaned forward, placing a kiss on Nayeon’s forehead and eyes, followed by her cheeks before leaning their foreheads against each other. “Don’t leave me again, please. I can’t stand it.”

Nayeon chuckled, never expecting to see the soft side of Jeongyeon show up. She repeated Jeongyeon’s actions, kissing her forehead and her eyes and cheeks, but this time, she also risked it further and leaned in to kiss her lips too. Jeongyeon was taken aback by it but she didn’t resist, kissing back with more passion than they’d started off with.

It was as if the emotions that were running through their minds had finally reached the point where it was too hard to contain; Nayeon’s constant jealousy over Momo and Jeongyeon’s emptiness without her best friend’s presence. Under all of that, was the love for each other that they buried away, fearing for their relationship. And it was the loss of the other that triggered their need for the other to know how they truly felt. Now they would no longer hesitate.

Nayeon might have thought she was never Jeongyeon’s but the truth was that she wasn’t just hers. She was her life and her anchor, the one who kept her sane and the one who loved her endlessly.

And just like Jeongyeon was everything to Nayeon, Nayeon was Jeongyeon’s world and so much more than words could define. She was like the sun, because she knew she’d never be okay without her.

\---

“Don’t leave me.”

“I won’t.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Stop it.”

“Can I kiss you again?”

“Why are you even asking?”


End file.
